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Rescue Dogs Could Learn from American Idol

jbrown — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 06:00:27 +0000

As we idle away the evening in front of the TV, watching our beloved American Idol, we got to thinking. In the Idol auditions, the contestants have about 30 seconds to make a good impression – not just with their singing, but with their confidence, personality, and overall appeal to the judges. Some resort to outrageous costumes, crazy stunts, or flirtatious behavior to appeal to the judges. Tough to keep your nerves under control in that situation.

We’re all rescue dogs, but Muggsy was the only one picked out of a shelter. He was listed on Petfinder and his background would have made Oprah cry. Many rescues come from abusive situations and may be confused and frightened sitting in an adoption facility. They wait in kennels and crates with strangers peering at them, wishing they were somewhere else. . . Like a home, but their promotional skills may be lacking and their 30 seconds to impress fails to get them a golden ticket. Some dogs have that ‘Ellen’ personality – bubbly and warm – makes you just want to scoop them up and take them home. But what about the others that are more reserved and unsure?

Muggsy is the happiest dog in the world, but he didn’t arrive that way. When myMom brought him home, he did not exude ‘pet’ karma. But we welcomed him into our home(sort of – myMom made us be nice), sent him to puppy school and now I have a confident, happy, mischievous little brother who ALWAYS wants me to play with him. It’s exhausting how happy he is.

The point is …shelter puppies should all see at least one episode of American Idol and learn from those brave contestants who screw up their courage and try to impress the judges (some more desperately than others). “You’re going to a home!” is the doggie equivalent of “You’re going to Hollywood, baby!”.

That’s just my opinion… do you agree?

Yours drooly,

Dax

American Idol – Big Egos in LA? Go figure!

jbrown — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 18:22:14 +0000

Oh boy, no popcorn but we got to lick ice cream bowls! Plopping onto our dog beds, we then curled up to watch. ..

Last week – ‘Pants on the ground’ . . . this week – Smarty Pants! LA = BIG egos and flirtatious contestants. Two self-proclaimed geniuses went home with their tail between their legs (oh yeah, we know that feeling) because they forgot their lyrics! Luckily, one proclaimed his love for pepperoni, so he gets a Paws Up from us. Yumm!

Guest judge Avril Lavigne wore a hoodie with what looked like kitty cat ears but Katie Perry and Kara had a little cat fight ….. are we sensing a theme here? Meeeeow!

Singing sminging! Who cares? These guys are sooo much fun to watch.

Contestant Jason was cockier that a poodle in a fashion show and so sure he could win Katy’s heart AND go to Hollywood . Now, more desperate than a Jack Russell with a tennis ball, he gave Ryan his phone number – Whoa!! That went over well.

Dallas had Julie, with a blue sparkly dress and matching eye shadow (Woof! Did she use a butter knife to apply it?). She needed a muzzle and a little ass-kickin’ to get her off the stage. Security!

Guest judge Neil-Patrick Harris, a.k.a. Doggie Howser, got into a bit of a scrap with Simon, more bark than bite in our opinion. And fake-nemesis Ryan gave Simon a tribute for being a good sport in putting up with all the weirdo contestants. Now we know why he growls a lot.

But wait! With a crack of a whip, a swish of her fake leather skirt, and a click of her boots, Erica made her entrance! She then sang the Barney song – you know the one that makes you willing to go out to pee in a rainstorm just to get away from it. Were we still in LA? Looking like a dominatrix lion tamer, she continued to sing her way to a golden ticket. What fun!

Joe Jonas also judged but . . . yawn! He needs the rest of his litter to stir up some excitement.

Lastly, Simon’s worst nightmare, the lovely Miss Vanessa – Painfully pink but a good sport – we’ll see her in the outtakes. And we’ll see you next week when the Idol team heads to Orlando.

Phew! we’re pooped.

Signing off,

3 Idle Dogs

Custody Battle between NBC and Conan's Triumph?

jbrown — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 18:12:47 +0000

What fate awaits this faithful, if somewhat sarcastic Yugoslavian Mountain Hound, a frequent contributor to Late Night with Conan O’Brian? Besides an uncanny resemblance to moi, he generously featured Bowser Beer in an interview he did with Hollywood’s D.O.G. fabulous pet boutique a few months back. The interview can be seen on our News Page and I’m sure he tossed a few back Bower Beers after that long day of filming. He acted like he couldn’t wait to get some.

Will he be considered “intellectual property” of NBC (Wow! I didn’t know he was that smart) or will his handler, Robert Smigel maintain custody and be allowed to manage his appearances? Perhaps his overly active libido or his infamous potty mouth has finally landed him in the doghouse. He has no fans at the Westminster Dog Show and has insulted almost everyone he meets.

I think they should bring him back on American Idol and let him have a showdown with Simon. Chomping on his trademark cigar, he would probably utter his famous catch phrase ‘for me to poop on’, as in “Simon, bring in the next contestant… for me to poop on”, followed by “I keed, I keed!!” (as in ‘just keeding!’)

We will miss you Conan and Triumph. Note, in the interview, he did not want to poop on our Bowser Beer…..He liked it, he really, really liked it!

– Dax

To appreciate his comedic style and see why we’ll miss him, view the following hilarious interview:

American Idle – Dogs at Rest – Part 1

jbrown — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 18:49:11 +0000

After a full day of chasing birds, bunnies, our tails, and each other, we’re pooped! Push the Paws button boys, we’re parking our little butts in front of the TV. Mmmmm…… We smell popcorn…. it’s time for Idol!

We have one vice we’ll admit to…. American Idol…And they talk to us. Randy is always asking “What’s Up Dog?” We think it’s so nice that he wants to know how we’re doing, but we’re just not sure which one of us he’s talking to.

Our paws are too big to text our votes on our Barkberries, so we want to post a weekly blog to express our opinions of who should be the next American Idol.

Yo, yo, yo, so check it out Dog:

The beginning of the season is really hard to watch. So many bad singers – they hurt our tender ears. And what’s with all the crazy costumes? Guitar Girl, a blue-haired accordion player, Bouncing Boob Girl? And then those guys in their sparkly, swirly, sequinny, girly outfits! What’s up with that?

This year there are a lot of sore losers NOT going to Hollywood. They swear and cry and won’t get off the stage. We want to jump right through the TV and bite their butts. Grrrrrrrrrrrrr! Move along!

Our favorites are the singing tractor guys. When you’re riding a tractor you can sing at the top of your lungs and get good practice so you can get off the farm and go to Hollywood. We were bawling our eyes out last year over the chicken farmer. He was all Green Acres until he started to sing. Whoa! And now there’s the girl from Kentucky who jumps bridges and bought her audition dress at the Dollar Store. She said “Git me to Hollerwood” - can someone translate?

Our tails sure were thumping to “Pants on the ground, Pants on the ground”. We pant on the ground too, so we can relate. This week a guy split his jeans when his pants his the ground and we laughed so hard, we had to run to the door to be let out.

Until next time. . . “Pants on the ground, pants on the ground, lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground… ” How appropriate.